Conversations

 
 
Conversation swirls around the room like cream in dark coffee,
and I envy the richness added. 
My conversations are staccato, confusing and brutishly short,
my tongue like pinking shears,
clipping the words off,
leaving the edges ragged and trailing,
not suitable for tying up in pretty ribbon,
not welcomed into jolly remembrances shared out around the table like chocolate and marzipan,
a saboteur on my own behalf.
 
I am tight clenched with wincing as my mouth fumbles them,
as if my lips don’t form in the natural way,
and my eyes can only see the pounding waves dead ahead,
no shore,
no safe landing,
just drowning in a sea of mashed consonants and misplaced vowels.
If I could rework each blushing remark,
each fractured exchange,
like a sculptor,
I would fill whole rooms with granite palavers,
all perfectly formed  and forever beautiful.
 
My mind holds hopefully tight to the baubles and the glitter and scarves that dress other discourse so prettily,
yet the way remains closed,
and my tongue remains tied
and I sit with my sad, safe silences,
and furtively filch any leftover swirls from the sideline,
drinking them down and wondering at such richness.
 
 
 
©jayetomas2017
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About chimerapoet

I write. I write a lot. A. LOT. There are times I am half blind with a sentence ricocheting off the walls of my stupid, cant be shut off to save my life, brain. I am miserable until I get it down on paper. Punch it up a bit. Usually cross out half of it. And then breathe. Relax. Only to do it all again..... But I just thought that was me. How I am. Not a writer....noooo...not me. Writers are.....writing people. People Who Write. REALLY write. Write things that matter. All grown up very important things. Not.....me. I am just a scribbler of sorts. And I was/am content with that....if it's true, well then....a scribbler am I. Until the thought wormed its way in to my brain (the furtive sneaky bitch) that maybe...just maybe...that is writing. My style. My strange way. But....still writing. So here I am at the dance. Not sure I know any of the moves and the music is entirely mine. But.....only one way to find out. Would you care to join me?
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