The parties I wasn’t invited to,
the boy who kissed me and then laughed about it to his friends,
the time my period arrived early and stained my jeans in school,
the jokes I never understood,
the cool I never felt,
the stumbling fumbling I always managed in gym.
And forty years later
my cheeks still flood with color
and my stomach still remembers ~
these were supposed to be the best days of my life…
All I could see was an endless track of no where to hide
no place to turn
and the best advice my mother naively offered was, “Smile and be friendly…”
You can’t be invisible and smile.
Impossible to be friendly while the vicious fledglings crowd around you
jeering and pointing at the outfit you briefly
felt pretty in.
When the only thing faster than their fists were their tongues
and the shame of just…
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