I look for you in clouds and in window reflections wavering back at me. I look for you in stories of love and sacrifice
and on book covers
and in songs and in weeping cello notes hanging in the air.
I look for you in the quiet spells
and I look around in the tumult and highpitched buzzing of a crowd.
I look for you in nightmares and tremble each morning,
troubled and shaken that my waking visions are so much worse.
If I reached for you and touched another would the wanting change us all?
Would we be linked and enhanced or would it pare a bit
like lemon peels
letting them fall to the floor
curling and hardening in a small, defiant plume of scent…
Could I accommodate this new connection,
could I make a nautilus of my heart and order the chambers with the time I spend longing
so that they are swept and polished and ready for occupancy?
Ready for the moment
when I look for you…
and I look
or someone very like you,