I promise myself
I will call you on the phone and have something to say
I will make you laugh
make you feel stable
and loved and appreciated
I will say
see you later
and really mean it…
I shall collect some light remarks
some amusing stories
and press your hand.
Someday soon I will spend the time
without hating it behind my eyes
and hoping you can’t see
without playing a brittle role.
Someday soon I will not allow you to invent a heavy schedule for me
will not have to smother irritation
I thought I would
I planned to…
And then you died.