I Ask

reflecting jaison cianelli

I asked the mountains
I asked the rain
I asked my God and asked the wise and foolish
and looked in old forgotten books
I searched in the tiny crevicey corners of my mind
I looked at my past
I hoped for my future
and wept a little at how small my understanding was
after all this wasted time
I can feel the power running
like lightning through the stormclouds
feel it like the hum of a beehive
but my faltering steps go in circles
no closer to the answer
why
the answer is the question learned seers say
why
why am I?
I am full of fierce longing to embrace the intangible, the image that refuses closer inspection
shifts and reshapes
the dancing enigmatic
I want to gather it together, bind it, put a cover and title and list of instructions
make it understandable
make me understand
but first I need to know what
and what and what
and that knowing is only reached from inside the mystery
this deep and painful inexplicable yearning
rises up like mist from places I have never visited
while awake
and still I ask
sometimes plaintively
sometimes demanding
sometimes
most times
in a small hushed secret voice
why
why am I?

*artwork by jaison cianelli*

 

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About chimerapoet

I write. I write a lot. A. LOT. There are times I am half blind with a sentence ricocheting off the walls of my stupid, cant be shut off to save my life, brain. I am miserable until I get it down on paper. Punch it up a bit. Usually cross out half of it. And then breathe. Relax. Only to do it all again..... But I just thought that was me. How I am. Not a writer....noooo...not me. Writers are.....writing people. People Who Write. REALLY write. Write things that matter. All grown up very important things. Not.....me. I am just a scribbler of sorts. And I was/am content with that....if it's true, well then....a scribbler am I. Until the thought wormed its way in to my brain (the furtive sneaky bitch) that maybe...just maybe...that is writing. My style. My strange way. But....still writing. So here I am at the dance. Not sure I know any of the moves and the music is entirely mine. But.....only one way to find out. Would you care to join me?
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